The Slow Burn

A spindle of thoughts regarding professional growth

When I initially embarked on this journey of advocacy, I thought I had to put all of my waking energy into marketing, networking, and content creation. I’ve slowly begun to realize this isn’t the case. This idea of it all stopping so suddenly isn’t necessarily a reality I am destined to.

There’s this odd dichotomy present with the path I’ve decided to walk as a male CSA survivor advocate, author, and public speaker. On one end, if you have achieved the online views I have (somewhere in the ballpark of 3.5 million overall), it is incredibly easy to have this encroaching dread over such exposure stopping. In hindsight, the massive amount of exposure I received was a lot to process at once. It all happened so fast.

I got caught up in this sea of spending every day sending multiple messages, emails, and texts geared towards furthering my advocacy efforts. In hindsight, it is easy to recognize the burnout present within. Running around like a chicken with its head cut off is not the best method of pursuing further advocacy. It fundamentally saps one’s optimism, which can dampen what I believe is a huge part of embarking on a journey such as mine: an incredible amount of self-belief. Belief in the face of inaction will get you nowhere. On the flip side, belief with too much action will get you nowhere. You have to find a balance between putting forth the effort and treating this pursuit as if it were the most important thing in your life.

I have achieved such a balance, and I believe it to be much more of a slow-burn rather than a sudden ascension to the top. This is a better approach anyways as it allows for the further development of writing skills and overall content creation.

The sudden nature of my exposure and how far it has reached has afforded me wealth of opportunity on a local level. I’ve got a lot of work ahead of me in this regard, and it serves as a constant point of excitement. I also have some things in the works regarding bigger podcasts and shows, which, will come to fruition in time. There’s no reason to rush it. There is such a thing as too much at once, and I must stop failing to appreciate how far I’ve already come by way of the accomplishments associated with my advocacy thus far.

Last night I had a very productive zoom meeting with PHD candidate out of Griffith University (Australia) Paul Wyles. He is on the forefront of male CSA research and has been published by Trauma, Violence, and Abuse (TVA): which is seen as the number #1 journal in the social work field. He decided to take a meeting with little old me, which, was almost entirely too surreal for me to handle. We discussed some literature at length, and he graciously allowed me to take a sneak peek at one of his articles being reviewed by the TVA for publication. Even more bonkers; he expressed the desire to continue meeting and to someday collaborate as I continue my studies.

All of this, the journey thus far, has been so ineffably surreal. I seem to float through moments of dread over all of it stopping and moments of pure exhilaration over what I have accomplished. Meeting with a leading researcher in my field is still absolutely bonkers to me. Beyond everything else, I’m incredibly grateful towards Paul for giving me some of his valuable time. Meeting him was a huge deal to me, and I cannot wait for further discussions with him.

See, part of the slow burn is recognizing where my current position is versus where I intend to ultimately end up. I have a lot of coursework ahead of me before I will be able to say I am a credentialed expert. I’ll likely never call myself an expert, but I’ll claim the credentialed aspect of it when it comes. This fall I will likely embark on the journey of pursuing a master’s degree in social work. I will probably submit my first literature review to the TVA to see if I can get it peer reviewed. Once I have my master’s, I will likely pursue this field as my PHD thesis.

Utilizing such goals and recognizing how long it will take me to get there (the next five or so years) helps me recognize how much of a slow burn this pursuit must be. If more online exposure and book sales comes, then great. If not, then the readers I accrue over time will have a front row seat of me becoming more and more undeniable in this space. I already carry a high degree of prowess as an undergrad; where do you think I’ll be as a PHD?

I have already added to the literature. I’m already putting out work that will be referenced in varying collegiate level social work programs. I’ve done things that will remain long after I am dead. I have effectively left a mark, and I’m far from done regarding the establishment of my legacy.

There goes ego again.

In any case, the slow burn is what will get me to the top. I’ve gotten a great jump start compared to most people and I am doing my best to treat it carefully. I’m doing things that are driving real impact here at home. I am incredibly blessed to be on this path and to become discontent with where I am right now would be fallacy. Yes, there is always the constant drive to achieve higher degrees of greatness, recovery, and self-betterment. However, it doesn’t hurt to give yourself props on occasion. I’m proud of who I am and how far I have come. Thus, I’ll sit here on this peak for a fleeting moment to congratulate myself and soak it all up before resuming the endless pursuit through the slopes above.

To those of you who are still reading my ramblings, thank you. I really appreciate your support. We’ve got a lot of work to do before we can rest.